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It’s astonishing how overlooked the rise of schools being bought by bureaucrats really is. A year ago, it leaked from ‘an inside source’ that my school-turned-academy had been taking people’s exam results off-record to get a higher success-rate percentage… And so, though I’d still blame him for it too, they blamed it all on the headteacher and fired him, because it wasn’t the higher powers at all that were in the actual position to commit such fraud. This whole making education into a business thing is, there’s no linguistically sophisticated way of putting it, fucked up man. They don’t care about the individual student anymore, just the result they get out of them. Believe me, where I went to ‘academy’, “entrepreneurial”, defined as ‘the taking of opportunity to make profit’, was literally what we were taught as our core value. Schools are nose-diving into corruption and not many have even noticed. All thanks to the windows opened by none other than former minister of education, Mr Michael Gove. Well done, sir: you are quite possibly the worst the worst thing to happen to education since beating children with a stick.

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